Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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