hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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