Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
