THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
