you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
