Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
