We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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