Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
