I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
