i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
