you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jerry, you need to find god
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
