Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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