That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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