What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
