I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
