butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were trust falling into bushes
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
