I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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