not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
