just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
