Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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