so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
