Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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