Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
