There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
