After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
