White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
