**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
