so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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