He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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