Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
