Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
