How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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