quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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