We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
