Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
