I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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