While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
