So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
