Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
