I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
