I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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