hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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