he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
