sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
