Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your tits are I can't wait for
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
