its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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