Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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