babies were throwing up all over the place
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
