In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
