I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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