He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
